Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
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