omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
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