You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
