And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
