Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
