I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I think a kid would responsible me up
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
