i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
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