Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I think people are normalizing furries
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