she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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