I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Welp...herpes.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Randomize
