oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
