I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Randomize
