Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
