Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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