Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Randomize
