How'd it feel making her break her religion?
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
