we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
