I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
