I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
