Apparently you make a good broom.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
