I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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