"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
