I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
