I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
