my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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