I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
