ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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