just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
