I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize