my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize
