oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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