That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
