how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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