I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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