I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
