Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize