When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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