I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
