guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
