i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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