I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Randomize
