): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
