But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Do you still have your period?
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize