Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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