i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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