There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
