Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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