i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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