i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
