Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
