can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
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