We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
