check it out our google latitudes are spooning
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
