What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
