Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Randomize
