dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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