Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
