If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
do herpes really smell.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Randomize
