I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Randomize
