i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize